Psychological Self-Help

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Chapter 10: Dating, Love, Marriage and Sex
   Introduction
   Meeting, Dating, and Selecting a Lover
   The Nature of Attraction and Love
       Do we use our heart, our genitals, or our brains in mate selection? We idolize romantic love.
       Romantic and companionate love (Exchange Theory)
       Love and infatuation; Love and dependency
       Beliefs and myths about love
       Kinds of lovers
       Types of love; dimensions of love
       Do men and women love differently?
       How is self-love related to love? Do you have to love yourself first?
       The effects of separation and other environmental changes
       Is it true love?
   Can Marital Success Be Predicted and Improved?
       Unconscious needs and motives in mate selection
       What is your love story?
       Projection of traits and feelings
       Are marriages better if you first “live together”?
       Get pre-marital counseling
       Books give advice about selecting a partner
   Marriage and Love
       Myths about marriage
       Some facts about marriage
       Stages within a marriage
       Types of marriages
       Books about love relationships before and after marriage
       Is happiness getting as much as you put into a relationship?
       Marriage and children: Life is changing for dad
   Handling Marital Problems
       Marital adjustment: What are the common problems?
       Destructive communication in marriage
       Coping with communication differences and hostile attributions (views of the partner)
       Learning to communicate differently requires awareness and practice
       Resolving marital conflicts
       Power struggles in marriage
       Understanding and handling jealousy
       Avoiding facing marital problems
       Loveless marriages: Lasting doesn’t mean loving
       Unfaithfulness
       Lessons from lasting marriages
       Maintaining intimacy throughout marriage (self-help exercises)
   Additional Sources of Help with Marital Problems
       The importance of problem-solving: The warning signs
       Self-help exercises: Learning to meet each other’s intimacy needs
       Self-help books for improving a marriage
       Marriage enrichment groups: Marriage encounter, marriage skills courses, and support groups
       Couples or marital therapy
   Coping with Divorce
       Reasons for divorce; divorce rate
       The pain of divorce
       Ideas and books for coping with divorce
       The negative effects of divorce (abandonment, hostility and over-burdening) on children
       Bitter parents (married or not) are very destructive
       Helpful books for children of divorce
   Remarriage and Step-Parenting
   Sex and Cultural Taboos
       Acceptance of our sexual selves and feelings
       Masturbation
       Turn-ons for men and women
       Acceptance of our bodies, sex play, fantasy, etc.
   Choosing Your Sexual Lifestyle
       Avoiding being forced or pressured by anyone
       A young woman’s lonely decision in a supposedly intimate situation
       What are people’s reasons for having sex?
       Deciding what sex means to you: What feeling does intercourse symbolize for you?
   About Premarital Sex
       Premarital sex in our time
       Guard against unwanted pregnancy
       Guard against sexually transmitted diseases
       U.S. youth make more sexual mistakes
       Be responsible: Don’t do it or use contraceptives…abortion
       Both parties are responsible for avoiding pregnancy
       Men aren’t the sexual experts
       Are you mature enough to have sex?
       We are uninformed about sex
       The morning-after pill and abortion
       Guard against date rape—several websites
   Sex in a Committed Relationship
       Sexual intercourse: It is making love
       Books for improving sex
   Dealing with Specific Sexual Problems
       Lack of sexual interest and solutions
       Male problems—premature ejaculation and erectile dysfunction
       Female problems—difficulty having orgasms and/or little interest
       Difficulty communicating about sex
   About Homosexuality
   Sources of Information about Various Sexual Problems

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