Psychological Self-Help

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1064
heterosexual tendencies, such as breast or buttocks fetishes, occur;
we are quite content with the shallow explanation that it is natural. But
we seem to need a deeper and more pathological explanation of
homosexual tendencies.) 
Two interesting recent studies: one compared 27 children with
lesbian mothers with a matched group with straight mothers. Will
homosexual mothers produce homosexual children? No. Only 2 of 25
children from lesbian families were homosexual (Golombok & Tasker,
1996). The second study found that the more older brothers a man
has, the more likely he is to be gay (Blanchard & Bogaert, 1996).
Among men with four or more brothers, 70% were reportedly
homosexual. Interesting, but that percentage seems too high. Also,
just having older brothers doesn't tell us much about the specific
causes of homosexuality yet... it is a clue that shouldn't be neglected,
however. 
Male homosexuals have been degraded in many ways, such as
called degenerate and "sick," considered insecure with women, called
a sissy and a "Mommy's boy," etc. Research has shown that
homosexuals do not have more identity or psychological problems than
the rest of us (except for the shame instilled by an intolerant culture).
They do not hate or fear women; they haven't had a bad experience
with the opposite sex; they were not seduced into homosexuality; they
were not the result of bad or neurotic parenting. They should not feel
guilty about who they love and find attractive, any more than a
straight does. None of us heterosexuals consciously decided which sex
we would fall in love with or what body parts would sexually turn us
on. It just happened. Why should sexual orientation be considered an
immoral conscious choice only for homosexuals? 
There is some research that suggests homosexuals are born with a
slightly different brain. The significance of this is not known yet. It is
known that many gays and lesbians believe they were born that way.
Many realize they are "different" by the time they are 6 or 8, others
when they are teenagers. Some people convert to homosexuality as
adults, sometimes after having children. In spite of these conversions,
therapists believe that sexual orientation is hard to change, especially
in males. Yet, there are cultures that expect and encourage young
males to engage in homosexual activities, including swallowing semen
to become a "man," but they easily become heterosexual when the
time comes for them to find a partner and father a family. 
Females seem more likely than men to change to homosexuality
later, even in their thirties or forties. It isn't known how people go
from being primarily gay to primarily straight (or the reverse) but a
few have been known to change through a religious conversion.
Psychotherapy, however, has had very little success in helping
unhappy gays become heterosexual (Nicolosi, 1994, reports 8 cases of
conversion). Therapists usually believe it is more realistic to help
someone adjust to the serious social difficulties of being homosexual
than to help the patient actually become heterosexual. 
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