Psychological Self-Help

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9
1.
Open hatred and insults: "I hate your guts;" "I'm really mad;"
"You're so damn stupid." 
2.
Contempt and disgust: "You're a selfish SOB;" "You are a
spineless wimp, you'll never amount to anything." 
3.
Critical: "If you really cared about me, you'd...;" 
"You can't trust _______." 
4.
Suspicious: "You haven't been fair;" "You cheated!" 
5.
Blaming: "They have been trying to cause me trouble." 
6.
I don't get the respect I deserve: "They just don't respect the
owner (or boss or teacher or doctor) any more." 
7.
Revengeful: "I wish I could really hurt him." 
8.
Name calling: "Guys are jerks;" "Women are bitches;"
"Politicians are self-serving liars." 
9.
Less intense but clear: "Well, I'm a little annoyed;" "I'm fed up
with...;" "I've had it!" "You're a pain." "I don't want to be
around you." 
Thinly veiled behavioral signs:
1.
Distrustful, skeptical. 
2.
Argumentative, irritable, indirectly challenging. 
3.
Resentful, jealous, envious. 
4.
Disruptive, uncooperative, or distracting actions. 
5.
Unforgiving or unsympathetic attitude. 
6.
Sulky, sullen, pouting. 
7.
Passively resistant, interferes with progress. 
8.
Given to sarcasm, cynical humor, and teasing. 
9.
Judgmental, has a superior or holier-than-thou attitude. 
Thinly veiled verbal signs:
1.
"No, I'm not mad, I'm just disappointed, annoyed, disgusted,
put out, or irritated." 
2.
"You don't know what you are talking about;" "Don't make me
laugh." 
3.
"Don't push me, I'll do it when I get good and ready." 
4.
"Well, they aren't my kind of people." 
5.
"Would you buy a used car from him?" 
6.
"You could improve on..." 
7.
"Unlike Social Work, my major admits only the best students." 
Indirect behavioral signs:
1.
Withdrawal: quiet remoteness, silence, little communication
especially about feelings. 
2.
Psychosomatic disorders: tiredness, anxiety, high blood
pressure, heart disease. Actually, college students with high
Hostility scores had, 20 years later, become more overweight
with higher cholesterol and hypertension, had drunk more
coffee and alcohol, had smoked more cigarettes, and generally
had poorer health (Friedman, 1991). See chapter 5 for a
discussion of psychogenic disorders. 
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