what works with your spouse, the children, the boss, a colleague, etc.
A diary emphasizing "growth experiences" could be both helpful and a
treasure in later years.
As you gain confidence in self-help, you will depend less on advice
from friends, experts, and books, like this one, and become more self-
reliant. You will find yourself saying, "I needed help before, but now I
can do it myself" (Janis, 1983). That's great (as long as it is true).
Share your experiences and ideas with others. Find satisfaction in
helping others help themselves and in working together for your
mutual benefit. One of the most therapeutic things we can do is help
The art of helping oneself, although as old as the human race, is
just beginning to be guided by scientific studies. It will take thousands
of researchers and tens of thousands of studies to find the better
approaches for specific problems, and there will continue to be
individual differences so that certain methods work better for some
than for others. As science makes its slow progress and shares its
findings, you will learn from those sources but remain your own expert
and main source of help, a self-helper relying on yourself as a
researcher and as the best storehouse of knowledge about yourself.
That is a big order. Hopefully, this book, plus the personal knowledge
you can add to the book, will combine together with a little help from
your friends to produce a different and better life for you. Good luck.
Wouldn't it be wonderful if we lived in a world without unfair
limitations, so everyone had an equal opportunity to make the best
possible life for themselves? For that to happen, society and families
would have to change. School and work would have to change. And,
each of us would have to learn how to produce changes in ourselves
when the opportunities were in front of us. All these changes take
knowledge and work. You can start anytime, though; you always have
yourself to work on.
After reviewing this chapter, you are ready to go to any
"understanding the problem" chapter.
References cited in this chapter are listed in the
Bibliography (see link on the book title page). Please note that
references are on pages according to the first letter of the senior
author's last name (see alphabetical links at the bottom of the
main Bibliography page).