Psychological Self-Help

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and knows it is temporary, and “simmering hate” when the hater feels loathing or
disgust towards a certain group of people for a long time but feels only a moderately
intense passion of hate. Some psychologists believe such people could stay angry for
a long time and eventually work out plans to become quite dangerous to national
leaders or to leaders of the enemy group, such as gays and lesbians. Several kinds
of hate are described by Sternberg’s system.
Almost as an afterthought in his article Sternberg (2005) asks “is there a cure for
hate?” No, he says, but there are things that could be done when war or terrorism is
threatening: (1) Urge both sides to avoid using negative stereotypes and to cool the
rhetoric by omitting the hate producing stories, (2) recognize the three-legged stool
that hate is built on and remember that hate increases when any ingredient is
strengthened, (3) remember that derogatory stories and propaganda rapidly escalate
anger and hatred and increase the risk of violence, (4) take action, if you can, to
oppose hate and reduce tension rather than being a passive observer. Sternberg
believes that angry conflicts are best fought by wisdom, including understanding
practically useful psychology and having empathy for others so you can see things
from another perspective. Wisdom is the key to recognizing the exaggerations and
hateful lies in the propaganda and stories that form the basis of prejudice and hatred
of other people. He has proposed that schools develop programs to teach wisdom—
or use the teaching program he has already developed (Sternberg, 2001).
Aaron Beck (2000), an early founder of Cognitive Therapy, presents a similar
explanation of the cognitive distortions that lead to individual violent behavior and to
group/governmental acts of terrorism, war, and genocide. If these atrocities are
going to be stopped by rational people, much more needs to be learned about anger,
prejudice, violence, and self-control. And a world movement against killing as a way
of solving conflicts needs to be nourished.
Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.
-----Carl Jung, 1857-1961, Swiss Psychiatrist~~
How anger interacts with other emotions and factors
Since anger can be such a powerful emotion, its impact is felt in many ways. Perhaps
we should start by reviewing the complex relationships that exist between anger and
other emotions (see Chapters 5, 6, 7, and 8) as well as between anger and other
behaviors or factors, such as values. First of all, if you are strong-willed, the values,
morals, ideals that guide your life may have a big influence on your angry emotions
and aggressive behaviors. On the other hand, if your anger is especially strong, it
may severely test or overwhelm your ideals about how to behave. In any case, you
have to find a way for your anger to co-exist with your sense of appropriate behavior
and your philosophy of life (see Chapter 3). Many people (including me) believe that
your ideals should trump your surging angry moods (if you fail in this, then you will
have another emotion—guilt--to deal with). 
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