Psychological Self-Help

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1168
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"Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." 
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"I can not do everything at once but I can do
something." 
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"God, give me serenity, courage and wisdom." 
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"Life's greatest gift is to love and be loved." 
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"It takes both rain and sunshine to make a rainbow." 
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"To understand is to pardon." 
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"The smallest good deed is better than the grandest
intention." 
After selecting or making up a phrase (a mantra), follow this
procedure: 
(a) Sit in a comfortable position in private. 
(b) Close your eyes gently. 
(c) Relax. Search your body for tension; relax the tense
spots by moving or stretching or tensing the muscles
and then relaxing deeper and deeper. 
(d) Notice your breathing but let it be natural, don't
control it. Start saying your selected phrase as you
exhale. Say it silently, say it mentally to yourself. Say
the special phrase each time you exhale (that's why it
needs to be short). After you have found a phrase that
works well for you, continue to use it every time. (This is
relaxation, not a time to learn sayings.) 
(e) Your mind may wander. That's OK, don't worry
about it. Passively observe the mind's thoughts and
accept whatever happens. Just lazily bring your mind
back to your special word or phrase. Just relax. Focusing
on your special phrase is simply a way of relinquishing
your control over your mind. Let your mind relax or do
its own thing. When you become aware that the mind
has wandered and has now finished its thought, bring it
back to repeating the special phrase every time you
exhale. Enjoy the peace. (See method #5 for more
information about meditating.) 
STEP THREE: Arrange a private place and schedule a specific
time for relaxing
A private place is crucial: a bedroom, a private office at work, even
a bathroom might be the best place. You should take 10-15 minutes
twice a day. Ideally, it should be a comfortable place with no
interruptions. A bed or a chair with arms and a high, soft back is good
(as long as you don't go to sleep). Many people get sleepy if they
meditate after a meal. Drown out distracting noise with a neutral
sound: a fan, air conditioner, or soft instrumental music. Turning off
the lights helps. Perhaps you had better tell your roommate, co-
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