Adler, R. B. (1977). Confidence in communication: A guide to
assertive and social skills. New York: Holt, Rinehart and
Alberti, R. E. & Emmons, M. L. (1975, 1986). Stand up, speak
out, talk back. New York: Pocketbooks.
Alberti also has six audiotapes: Making yourself heard: A guide
to assertive relationships. San Luis Obispo, CA: Impact
Bloom, L. Z., Coburn, K. & Pearlman, J. (1976). The new
assertive woman. New York: Dell.
Bower, S. A. & Bower, G. H. (1976). Asserting yourself: A
practical guide for positive change. Reading, Mass.: Addison-
Elgin, S. (1980). The gentle art of verbal self-defense.
Englewood Cliffs, NJ: Prentice-Hall.
Elgin, S. (1995). You can't say that to me! Stopping the pain of
verbal abuse--an 8-step program. New York: John Wiley &
Jakubowski, P. & Lange, A. (1985). The assertive option: Your
rights and responsibilities. Champaign, IL: Research Press.
Piaget, G. (1991). Control freaks: Who are they and how to
stop them from running your life. New York: Doubleday.
Phelps, S. & Austin, N. (1987). The assertive woman: A new
look. San Luis Obispo, CA: Impact Publishers.
"I" messages for expressing feelings. Accepting
responsibility for your feelings.
This is one of the most important skills you can acquire. A good
rule of thumb is: "If you have a problem, make an 'I' statement. If you
are helping someone with a problem, make empathy responses." An
"I" statement consists of a description of how you feel and an
indication of the conditions under which you feel that way. It takes this
form: "I feel (your emotions) when (under what conditions)."