1578
1. Playing ball with father
(nervous--not very good)
Playing with
father
(fun, close)
Talking with wife--don't want
to.
(being considerate but
uneasy)
2. Using big padded ball
(a fact--conceals feelings?)
Throwing ball
easy
(trusting, caring)
Trying to avoid an argument
(afraid of a fight)
3. Throwing to each other
(afraid of messing up)
I drop the ball
(disappointed)
She changes topic & "got
me"
(tricked, vulnerable, angry)
4. See dad's not having fun
(concerned, fear)
I run to get ball
(proud,
confident)
I see: I just lost the
argument
(disappointed, shot down,
fear)
5. He's teaching me! Not
playing
(inferior, looked down on)
Laughing, good
time
(accepted,
happy)
Feel my efforts were useless
(inadequate, despair)
6. It's his job to help me
(a fact--hiding something?
Denying being angry?)
We start talking
(worthy,
trusting)
She seems to always be right
(frustrated, angry)
7. I don't know how to be
better
(helpless, lonely,
inadequate)
Dad listens to me
(understood,
content)
I want to get away from her
(useless, inadequate, alone)
8. [Overall feeling]
(I'll never be able to do it
well enough)
[Overall feeling]
(loved, close)
[Overall feeling]
(She always wins, I lose;
inferior, rejected, unloved)
The first step in interpreting your early memory (column A) is to look at
the last couple of segments (6 & 7) and the overall feeling (8) to see how life
is viewed. As seen in column A, this person ends up feeling like a loser,
inferior, and helpless. But, by looking at segments 4, 5 and 6, it is clear that
the goal is to avoid taking responsibility for what happened (dad makes me
feel inadequate). Often the feelings in the early memory reflect the person's
basic expectation of what life will be like and a major determinant of his/her
life-style, e.g. "I'm no good and if I assert myself, I'll be rejected, BUT IT'S
ALL SOMEONE ELSE'S FAULT."
Emotions cause behaviors that confirm our beliefs about ourselves, others, and the world.
