Psychological Self-Help

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28
College students in the 1960's ranked freedom (#2) as
the highest "end" value in Table 3.2, then happiness (#4), wisdom
(#6), self-respect (#8), mature love (#10), a sense of
accomplishment (#12), and so on with the rest of the even-
numbered values followed by the odd-numbered values, ending
with a world of beauty (#15) and pleasure (#17). Numbered in a
similar way, the highest ranked "means" values (see Table 3.3)
were honest (#2), ambitious (#4), responsible (#6), broad-minded
(#8), forgiving (#10), and helpful (#12), with logical (#15) and
imaginative (#17) being at the low end of the list. Compare your
ratings with their ratings; the ratings have remained fairly stable
over the years, except that a concern about equality has gone
down during the 80's as the gap between the haves and the have-
nots widened. Think about these matters. Read more and talk to
friends, parents, ministers, teachers, and especially to people who
have different values than you do. But, make your own final
decisions.
Self-centered vs. others-centered
After working through Tables 3.1, 3.2, and 3.3, you should have a
better overall view of the possible meanings of life, the possible
purposes of life, and the possible personality characteristics. There is a
meaningful distinction, however, between finding meaning in life and
finding the meaning of life. For example, you might find meaning in life
while making new friends, observing a beautiful sunset, being close to
relatives, being good in sports, reading a good book, having a fantastic
sex life, etc., but it is not likely that you will choose any of these
activities as being your one ultimate purpose in life. Deciding in
advance the major purpose(s) of your life is different from
experiencing some additional meaning(s) in life as you go along. I'm
suggesting that you decide what should be, the major purpose(s), the
primary objective(s) of your life.
In my opinion, there are two fundamentally different life goals: (1)
personal happiness and (2) doing good for others, i.e. self-oriented or
other-oriented. They are both very appealing values but,
unfortunately, they usually take you in opposite directions. If you seek
happiness in self-serving ways, you will miss many opportunities to
serve others. The 42,000 children dying needlessly every day probably
can't be saved without giving up much of your partying and material
wealth. If you "love thy neighbor as thyself," as implied by the Golden
Rule, you will surely miss out on a lot of luxury and frivolous fun.
Becoming an effective helper or a scientist or an intelligent leader
requires sacrifices. You can't go full steam both ways--recreation and
commitment--at the same time; choices, and usually compromises,
must be made (see Branden, 1980, and Wallach & Wallach, 1984).
Now, some help in making this tough choice. 
I have asked hundreds of college students to answer this basic
question for themselves: 
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