Psychological Self-Help

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way in a not-yet-egalitarian society, namely, self-doubts, depression,
eating disorders, headaches, and other illnesses.  
Gender roles for men
The old male sex roles gave power and advantages to males but
also created problems for men. As noted in chapter 7, boys and men
are much more free to express anger than any other emotion. This is
related to their high rate (compared to females) of criticizing,
scapegoating, and attacking other people. Unfortunately, they are also
three times more likely to be hyperactive than girls and they are more
likely to believe their problems are caused by outside factors;
whereas, females are more self-blaming. Males try to avoid problems;
they distract themselves. In contrast, females talk out their problems
with friends. It looks like boys are headed for trouble from an early
Besides the aggression-related problems of males, one can
imagine many other problems: if you are expected to be superior,
always perfectly in control of things and "cool" in appearance, it is a
constant strain to meet those standards. Also, if you are expected to
be a strong, unemotional, independent, competitive, and aggressive
"tiger" at work, it is hard to come home and be a "pussy cat," being an
interdependent equal, washing the dishes, bathing the kids, sharing
your self-doubts and remorse about conflicts at work, and being soft
and caringly intimate with others (Fasteau, 1974). Women seem to
want both--an ambitious, successful Rockefeller at work and a relaxed,
empathic Dr. Spock at home. Men are saying to women, "if you like
the drive, intellect, and toughness that gets me promoted and a
Mercedes, why do your expect me to be completely different as a
dinner partner? You can't have both!" The truth is maybe you can have
both, but the point is: some (not many) men feel as dehumanized
when they are judged by their job or income or car as women feel
when they are judged by their weight or breasts or clothes. 
If a male alone is expected to provide well for a family, he will
ordinarily have little time to relax and enjoy home life, little time to
get to know his own children. Men need freedom too--freedom from all
the financial responsibility for the family, freedom from the demand
that they be a "real men and not cry or be sissies," freedom from the
urge to compete and prove their superiority in every interaction,
freedom to be equally involved with child care, freedom to have
intimate friendships, freedom from being held responsible for the
female's sexual satisfaction, freedom from having their personal worth
being based almost entirely on their success at work, etc. (Farrell,
1975, 1993). 
Males who adopt extremely macho traits and superior attitudes run
the risk of several other major problems (Stillson, O'Neil & Owen,
1991). Examples: the highly masculine stereotype has been shown to
be associated with family violence, delinquency, fights while drinking,
child sexual abuse, and rape. The macho male suppresses feelings
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