Psychological Self-Help

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21
My studying is always rushed, I never feel well prepared, I feel
anxious in class. I hate to get exams and papers back. I'm
embarrassed by my work and grades. 
I feel forced to study and resent it. I would rather talk to
friends and do fun things, it makes me mad when I can't do
what I want to do. 
I feel little or no guilt about cheating, instead I feel clever and
pleased when I can "beat the system" and get better grades
than the "stupid" kids who do the "useless" homework. 
Part 3: Skills (Lack of)
Poor reading ability and speed. I can't learn the details unless I
read the material twice and I can't stand to do that. 
Poor writing ability, poor grammar and spelling. 
I'm able to persuade or threaten others into lending me their
notes, into typing my papers and correcting the errors, into
letting me cheat off their tests, etc. 
Part 4: Mental processes
I think what you learn in school is a waste. What I think is
important is how well a person can control people or "work the
system." I'm good at it. 
I think that I will be a responsible, honest, successful, hard
worker just as soon as I get into the real world and away from
this stupid school. 
I think I am very intelligent because my friends are constantly
impressed with the things I do, like giving excuses for missing
class or talking teachers into letting me take the exam later
(after I get the answers from someone). 
I think the students who study hard or "show off what they
know" in class are jerks and stupid because "they are making it
hard on the rest of us." 
I expect to get average grades but I let people know that I
haven't studied, so they will not think I am dumb. I'd like to be
seen as smart. 
Part 5: Unconscious processes (these are possibilities which I
can't know for sure at this point or, for that matter, ever)
I may avoid putting myself to the test, i.e. studying hard to see
how able I really am. I'm afraid I'm not very smart; I don't like
to think about it. 
I may resent my father who is a workaholic; I probably hated
my father's work, success, drive, organization (everything in its
place), and pushiness. I felt rejected by mother because she
admired father's successes so much. I may push this out of my
mind, except for the resentment and distance I feel. 
Many teachers remind me of my father, so this may make it
especially satisfying to blow off studying or to cheat on a paper. 
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