Psychological Self-Help

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are quite good) but they are basically "win-lose" ploys used between
adversaries who do not trust or care much for each other. 
Table 13.1: Guidelines for tough bargaining
"If you don't ask, you don't get." Don't be shy about asking for
what you want and working to get it. 
Start by getting all the information you need. Example: if
buying a used care, have the car tested by a good mechanic
and find out what repairs are needed now or in the near future.
Also, find out what similar cars are selling for, how much the
bank will loan you on such a car, what insurance will cost, the
repair record of similar cars, the resale value, and so on.
Decide what your initial offer should be and how high you will
It may be wise to first negotiate for something you don't want,
e.g. a car that isn't your preference, in order to get information
about the sales methods of the salesperson and the agency, to
establish yourself as a serious negotiator, to get them to invest
more of their time so they will feel more pressure to make a
sale, and for you to get more practice at bargaining. 
Try to avoid making the first offer. If you do, always give
yourself room to negotiate (and let the other person "win").
Example: If you want to sell your house for $100,000, you
must ask for $110,000 or so. Before bargaining, know the "top
price you will give" or the "lowest price you will take" and stick
to it. 
Always know the difference between what a person needs
(must have) and what he/she wants (would like); put priority
on getting what you need, not on getting everything you want.
On the other hand, the other person may only mention what
he/she needs and not what he/she wants; thus, discovering
and meeting his/her wants may be very helpful. Example: a job
applicant may be negotiating for a higher salary but really
wants more status, different title, more responsibility, bigger
office, less stress, etc. 
After the "opening positions"--asking price and first offer--are
established, you should make concessions very slowly and in
small, decreasing amounts. Give a concession only when the
other person won't give you any more and only when you can
get something in return. 
If possible, offer a concession that doesn't cost you anything
but seems valuable to the other party, then ask for another
significant concession from him/her. It may be possible to
make up a big issue or problem, discuss it at length, make it
seem important to you, and pretend to make concessions in
this area if the other side will make additional concessions to
Shake your head and frown at the other person's offers. The
silent treatment makes most people uncomfortable. In some
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