Psychological Self-Help

Navigation bar
  Home Print document View PDF document Start Previous page
 70 of 104 
Next page End Contents 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75  

situations, it is beneficial to keep the opponent mildly
threatened and uncertain, e.g. you might threaten to sue rather
than continue negotiating, the union might threaten to strike,
one spouse might threaten to divorce the other if changes
aren't made, etc. 
Information is power, so get as much information as you can
about the object for sale, about the market, about the seller,
and give as little information as you can about yourself.
Example: if you know exactly what the car cost the dealer, you
can bargain up from that price, making the dealer justify each
additional cost, rather than your trying to get the dealer to
come down from the list price. And on the other side, don't tell
them that Daddy is buying the car for you and he is a well
known lawyer (unless he is the agency's lawyer). Use power
when you have it; otherwise, delay and stall 
10. Sales people know that little decisions are made quickly and
without much thought after a big decision is made, thus the car
agency will hastily sell you expensive accessories, an unneeded
extended warranty, a high interest rate financing arrangement,
etc. after the car price is agreed upon. Watch out for that. 
11. Use your spouse (partner) to give you more time, e.g. "I have
to check with my wife/husband" (just as car sales reps use the
"manager"), or as a way to take an offer back. 
12. A tough bargainer is willing to take risks. He/she must be
willing to say "I'd like to talk to the manager to see if he/she
won't make a better offer" or to say "no deal" and walk away. 
13. Communicate that you are at your bottom line by making
smaller and smaller concessions up to that point, actually
taking back (reneging) some concession you have already
made ("Oh, I went too far--I can't do that"), or by saying "I'm
not going to give any more." 
14. If necessary to come out on top, many people may think "dirty
tricks" are acceptable--or even a sign of cleverness. These
would include deception, falsely citing some authority, personal
attacks, making the other person feel uncomfortable, using
threats, etc. 
15. In the end, help the other person look good, believe that you
are at your rock bottom price (the best deal possible), and feel
that he/she has "won." Thus, a "win-win" settlement (in
appearance only) is frequently possible. Announce that the
other party is the winner! 
STEP SIX: What to do if and when the going gets tough.
Keep in mind a saying by Jandt and Gillette (1985, see below):
"The relationship is much more important than the conflict." Stress to
the other person the importance of a positive future. Look for the
opponent's real reasons. Ask him/her why he/she is resisting giving in
on some issue. Maybe the other person will start talking about his/her
needs ("interests") and reveal his/her underlying motives. If it is a
marital conflict, perhaps the histories of both partners need to be
considered: What happened in the last marriage? Are childhood
Previous page Top Next page

« Back