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arouse emotional reactions in most others, regardless of whether the
causes of the behaviors are thought to be organic or psychogenic.
Relationship problems arise. Also, it is common for the ADHD
child/teens to deny any behavioral problems, so the “encouragement”
of structure and/or self-control may be strongly resented and resisted.
These are tough situations for parents, teachers, and other caregivers.
These power struggles should be minimized as much as practical, but
most parents (and safety considerations) have their limits. If the
ADHD victim can at an early age recognize his/her own behavioral
problems, that awareness can lessen their opposition to controlling
cues and structure in the environment or by others. Remember,
rewards for desired behavior work much better than authoritative
control with most children. Also, tied in with their denial of problems is
the mixed self-esteem often associated with this disorder, namely,
people often believe the ADHD child or teen has low self-esteem but
the child/teen frequently considers him/herself superior to others
(even after repeated failures), both in terms of likeability and
performance skills. Often there is also a hard-to-handle “I’m OK, it’s
your fault” attitude. Research has shown that praise reduces the
ADHD's need to exaggerate their superiority (Diener & Milich, 1997).
We need to acknowledge that the genes, hormones, and brain
structure don’t disengage the psychological/learning/interpersonal
aspects of a disorder.
Also, remember, ADHD is not all bad--Dr. Hollowell, who has this
diagnosis and likes it, values his creativity, energy, and exciting
unpredictability which he attributes to the “disorder.”
The sources already cited are excellent: Barkley (1997), Hollowell
(1997), Hollowell & Ratey (1994), and Incorvaia, Mark-Goldstein &
Tessmer (1998). These books are for both practitioners and patients.
Books written explicitly for the ADHD adult include: Roberts & Jansen
(1997), Shapiro & Rich (1998), Kelly & Ramundo (1996), Nadeau
(1996, 1997), and Adamec & Esther (2000) which is specifically for
"Moms with ADD." Several books seek to help parents cope with ADHD
children: Barkley (1995), Jacobs (1998), Flick (1998), Killcarr & Quinn
(1997), and Taylor (1994). See Greene (1998) for dealing with the
angry child, and deGrandpre (1998) for thoughts about medication.
High school students should consult Quinn (1994, 1995). Theories
about self-regulation in ADHD can be found in Milich & Nietzel (1994).
An email newsletter about ADHD can be obtained at
ADDGazette@onelist.com. Some of the better Web sites in this area
Service (http://www.psycom.net/bookstore.add.html), ADD
