what he/she is going to do in order to change. Eric Berne said, "My
business is turning frogs into princes."
Although we tend to be an OK winner (a hero) or a not-OK loser (a
villain or a victim), one person may sometimes play several scripts,
e.g. a person may be a tough, villainous boss at work, a quiet,
dominated victim at home, and a heroic rescuer on the volunteer fire
department or domestic violence crisis team.
Understanding your life script(s) and using that concept to improve
your life involves several sub-steps: Use chapter 9 to get in touch with
your ego states and decide how powerful each one is in you. In the
following steps of this method, you will first assess how you feel (OK
or not OK) towards yourself and towards others, i.e. your Life Position,
then you will identify more about the games and roles you play. Based
on this information, you will be able to write out your Life Script (or
different scripts in different situations). Later, by comparing the Script
of the 5-year-old inside you with the goals and values you have as a
reasonable adult, you can re-write your Life Script and specify the
changes you need to make in order to get what you want out of life.
Your life position
Do you feel OK or not OK about yourself?
By reading in chapter 9 about the parent, adult, and child, which
do you think is the strongest (most influential) part of your
personality? which is the weakest part? Dusay and Dusay (1979) have
a test for measuring the parent, adult and child, if you are interested.
If you answered that your strongest part is the adult, the
natural child, or the nurturing parent, you are inclined to feel
positive about yourself. Rate yourself + or ++, depending on
the strength of your positive feelings.
If your strongest part is the critical parent or adaptive child,
you may feel negative about yourself. Rate yourself - or --,
depending on the strength of your feelings.
Remember your parents' early messages (consider the examples
given above): what were you told, what was his/her tone, how were
you handled, did the comments and actions "make" you feel good or
bad about yourself?
If you got more positive messages, rate yourself + or ++.
If you got more negative messages, rate yourself - or --.
Think back on your parents' messages to you as a grade school
student and as a teenager: How did they feel about your looks? your
ability? your morals? your friends? your ability to relate to others?