The desired outcomes (goals) for each of your self-help projects
are likely to be in two or three "parts" of the problem, as described in
the last step, i.e. you may want changes in your behaviors, in your
feelings, in skills, in how you think, and/or in your awareness of
previously unconscious factors. In effect, there are four kinds of highly
related goals (general vs. specific; long-term vs. short-term; method
1. Major, general, final outcome-of-the-problem goals,
I don't want to be so irritable.
I want to be kinder and gentler.
which may be stated as:
2. final outcome sub-goals within specific parts
(behavior, skills, etc.) of the problem,
I want to stop yelling and swearing (behavior).
I want to calm down disciplining Bobby (emotions).
I want to learn a lot about parenting (skills).
I want to think more positively about what Bobby has done,
I want insight into how my childhood affects my parenting
which will almost certainly have some:
3. daily or weekly progress (how fast should I change?) sub-
goals within each part,
I will eliminate cussing by next Monday.
I will, in two weeks, lose emotional control less than once per
week with Bobby.
I will attempt, every time I get mad, to see the similarity
between Bobby and me at his age, and the similarity between
me and Mom/Dad at my age.
4. method (what must I do to produce the changes I want?)
sub-goals within each part of the problem.
I will skip the next meal if I cuss.
I will desensitize my anger in situations where I am correcting