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(chapters 9 & 13).
4. Attitudes: has self-doubts and the
belief that it would be awful if a girl
didn't want to go out with him.
Develop a more positive self-concept
by reviewing and praising self for
good points; challenge the irrational
idea that it would be so awful that he
couldn't stand to be rejected by any
girl for any reason (chapters 6 & 14).
5. Unconscious: unconsciously hates
self for being so weak, suspects that
females are demanding, critical, and
fickle; afraid of being hurt in a
relationship.
Look for the source of the self-critical
attitude (did parents put him down?
Has he been ignored--or indulged?)
Where does the distrust of women
come from? (Mother liked a sibling
more? Has been rejected before?
Afraid of sex or intimacy?) See
chapters 6, 7, 9, 10, & 15.
Case B: John/Jane--Procrastination
See step 3 for a description of the problem; this is a list of possible
self-help methods for changing John/Jane's procrastination:
Part 1: Behavior (Chapters 3, 4, 11, 13)
Self-confront and admit how serious my situation is; decide if I
want to become capable or stay a con headed for trouble. Have
an honest discussion of this with my parents.
Update a To-Be-Done List every morning or no breakfast.
Set up a schedule for studying. If I can't immediately start
studying 3 hours a night (I've got a lot of catching up to do), I'll
start with 1 hour and increase it 1/2 hour each week. My
reward will be time with my boy/girlfriend (they have agreed to
not let me cheat).
Reduce wasted time, stop cheating, stop insulting good
students. Use thought stopping and self-criticism to stop these
things. I'll self-praise my improvements.
Make friends with some serious students, try to see their point
of view.
Plan more good times with friends, but goof off and watch TV
less.
Part 2: Emotions (Chapters 5, 12, 14)
Confront my fears and find out how smart I am. Do my best in
one course (4 hours of study per week) and see how well I can
do.
