Psychological Self-Help

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859
hateful criticism of one or both parents, being blamed
or feeling to blame for the divorce, and having to
choose which parent to live with.
Child's
Possible
Reaction as a
Child or as an justification at all). May adjust well during the divorce
Adult: but as young adults become unhappy, withdrawn,
Problems in school, fearful of love. Low self-esteem,
academic difficulties may continue 10 years or more,
anxiety, and feeling great guilt (often without any
without focus, men become afraid women will not love
him and women become afraid men will be unfaithful
to her.
Note: if the divorcing parents can be civil and
cooperative, the children will be better adjusted and
have self-esteem.
Childhood
Experience: the risk of depression and other disorders is increased
Loss of a Parent: Regardless of the cause of the loss,
if relations are poor with the surviving parent, anxiety
high, and home life unhappy. See section on step-
parenting in chapter 10.
Child's
Possible
Reaction as a
Child or as an Phobias and panic disorders associated with parental
Adult: death.
Depressive disorder as adults. About a 75% chance of
depression or some kind of psychiatric disorder if the
relationship with the surviving parent is troubled.
Childhood
Experience: except when critical and demanding. Never praises or
Aloof, Unexpressive Father: Uninvolved with child,
says, "I love you." Often father is busy earning a
living, may be successful.
Child's
Possible
Reaction as a
Child or as an inside--which he/she tries to fill with work, sex,
Adult: making money, or alcohol but that doesn't work. Often
Feels unfulfilled, obsessed.
Child yearns for father's approval. Without attention
from father, the child feels "empty"--has a big hole
is cold and aloof like father but can learn to be loving.
Childhood
Experience: father. Of course, this may include going through a
Living with Single Mother: With or without a step-
divorce.
Child's
Possible
Reaction as a
Child or as an 30-70% higher risk of having a behavioral problem,
Adult: e.g. antisocial behavior, social conflicts or withdrawal,
Poorer health, grades, and behavior. Children have
30% higher risk of health problems and injury, 50+%
higher risk of failing a grade or being disciplined, and
and dependency. 70% of delinquents are fatherless.
Childhood
Experience: family or single-parent family is busy, there are some
A Mother Working Outside the Home: While a 2-career
advantages besides money: working Moms have fewer
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