Psychological Self-Help

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work, death or illness may take parent away or reduce
Reaction as a
Child or as an feel as if he/she belongs to a group or would be
Schizoid, avoids involvements. If parents can't
communicate, child won't learn to either. Withdrawn,
feels lonely but keeps people at a distance. Doesn't
accepted. Shows little feeling. Uninsightful &
intellectualizing. Being quiet, the child is seen as
boring & ignored.
Experience: child. Crushes the child's confidence (if Mom and Dad
Rejecting Parent(s): Openly rejects and puts down the
won't love you, who will?). If peer rejection is added,
e.g. via poor academic or athletic skills, child's self-
esteem is further reduced.
Reaction as a
Child or as an imagined rejection, immediately becomes hostile or
Avoidant: angry or anxious or both. Child feels
unwanted, unloved or least liked. Uncomfortable
socially, a lone wolf, self-centered, hurt by real or
self-critical. May use or hurt others. May be
Experience: some cases, the parents were abusive only with each
Abusive Parent(s): Physical or verbal abuse or both. In
other, not with the child.
Reaction as a
Child or as an psychological problems and relate poorly. 1/3 become
Aggressive or fearful and insecure. Roughly 1/2 will be
"passive" victims, have low esteem, and withdraw.
The other 1/2 are angry aggressives. Both types have
abusers as parents, but most abusers were not
abused. If they only witness parental violence as a
child, 1/2 will abuse spouse or be abused. Abused girls
tend to marry abusive males, probably because they
were deviant and aggressive as teens and married
similar men.
Later Childhood Experiences:
Experience: unquestioned boss who is highly demanding,
Authoritarian, Dogmatic Parent(s): Parent is
controlling, and emotionally aloof or superior.
Unresponsive to the child's needs.
Reaction as a
Child or as an stress, aimless or oppositional and not "for" anything.
Adult: Thinks in absolute terms: "It must be done my way" or
Unhappy, fearful, and irritable and/or dependent.
Moody & sulky, quick to get angry but often is only
passive-aggressive, unable to tolerate pressure or
"if she wants to break up with me, she is a slut."
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