physical ailments and less depression. Also, fathers
become more involved in child-care.
Reaction as a
Child or as an confident and with more self-esteem than daughters of
Adult: home-making mothers. Such daughters are less
Daughters confident, less traditional. Over 60% of
Moms have outside employment and their daughters
seem to benefit. The daughters grow up more
controlled by traditional sex roles and they have a
better relationship with their mothers. Mothers who
stay at home have better relationships with their sons.
Experience: conflicts with a sib; 20% were picked on, 17% picked
Picks On or Being Picked on by Sib: 28% have high
on a sib; often it is mutual aggression.
Reaction as a
Child or as an higher self-esteem but also greater anxiety. Victims
Adult: who were passive had more depression and anxiety
More violent, more emotional, fewer coping skills.
More violence in family. Women who were picked on
showed more anxiety but men didn't. Perpetrators had
than those who "fought back" (Graham-Bermann,
Cutler, Litzenberger, & Schwartz, 1994).
Common Interpersonal Problems and Skills Needed
This section discusses many problems associated with making and
keeping friends (see index at the beginning of the chapter). It also
deals with difficulties faced by long-term relationships, such as
communicating poorly, being taken for granted, conscious and
unconscious controlling of each other, handling difficult people, and
driving each other crazy. The next section of the chapter covers
gender differences, competition, feelings of superiority, interaction
problems between the sexes, gender roles and sexism, chauvinism in
child care, chauvinism in schools, and chauvinism at work. Finally,
many more useful references are given throughout for dealing with
Fear of approaching someone
Most of us are a little uncomfortable meeting new people. Many of
us are lonely but still we do not reach out. We may even suspect that
others are lonely too but we don't approach them. Or if we do reach
out, why do we take out what Bach and Deutsch (1970) call "rejection
insurance?" That is, why do we avoid getting emotionally involved with
someone or why are we careful to "keep pace" with our new partner