Chapter 10: Dating, Love, Marriage and Sex
Meeting, Dating, and Selecting a Lover
The Nature of Attraction and Love
Do we use our heart, our genitals, or our brains in mate selection? We idolize romantic love.
Romantic and companionate love (Exchange Theory)
Love and infatuation; Love and dependency
Beliefs and myths about love
Kinds of lovers
Types of love; dimensions of love
Do men and women love differently?
How is self-love related to love? Do you have to love yourself first?
The effects of separation and other environmental changes
Is it true love?
Can Marital Success Be Predicted and Improved?
Unconscious needs and motives in mate selection
What is your love story?
Projection of traits and feelings
Are marriages better if you first “live together”?
Get pre-marital counseling
Books give advice about selecting a partner
Marriage and Love
Myths about marriage
Some facts about marriage
Stages within a marriage
Types of marriages
Books about love relationships before and after marriage
Is happiness getting as much as you put into a relationship?
Marriage and children: Life is changing for dad
Handling Marital Problems
Marital adjustment: What are the common problems?
Destructive communication in marriage
Coping with communication differences and hostile attributions (views of the partner)
Learning to communicate differently requires awareness and practice
Resolving marital conflicts
Power struggles in marriage
Understanding and handling jealousy
Avoiding facing marital problems
Loveless marriages: Lasting doesn’t mean loving
Lessons from lasting marriages
Maintaining intimacy throughout marriage (self-help exercises)
Additional Sources of Help with Marital Problems
The importance of problem-solving: The warning signs
Self-help exercises: Learning to meet each other’s intimacy needs
Self-help books for improving a marriage
Marriage enrichment groups: Marriage encounter, marriage skills courses, and support groups
Couples or marital therapy
Coping with Divorce
Reasons for divorce; divorce rate
The pain of divorce
Ideas and books for coping with divorce
The negative effects of divorce (abandonment, hostility and over-burdening) on children
Bitter parents (married or not) are very destructive
Helpful books for children of divorce
Remarriage and Step-Parenting
Sex and Cultural Taboos
Acceptance of our sexual selves and feelings
Turn-ons for men and women
Acceptance of our bodies, sex play, fantasy, etc.
Choosing Your Sexual Lifestyle
Avoiding being forced or pressured by anyone
A young woman’s lonely decision in a supposedly intimate situation
What are people’s reasons for having sex?
Deciding what sex means to you: What feeling does intercourse symbolize for you?
About Premarital Sex
Premarital sex in our time
Guard against unwanted pregnancy
Guard against sexually transmitted diseases
U.S. youth make more sexual mistakes
Be responsible: Don’t do it or use contraceptives…abortion
Both parties are responsible for avoiding pregnancy
Men aren’t the sexual experts
Are you mature enough to have sex?
We are uninformed about sex
The morning-after pill and abortion
Guard against date rape—several websites
Sex in a Committed Relationship
Sexual intercourse: It is making love
Books for improving sex
Dealing with Specific Sexual Problems
Lack of sexual interest and solutions
Male problems—premature ejaculation and erectile dysfunction
Female problems—difficulty having orgasms and/or little interest
Difficulty communicating about sex
Sources of Information about Various Sexual Problems
© 1996-2006 Clayton Tucker-Ladd & the Self-Help Foundation.
All rights reserved. ISBN 1-890873-00-4
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